Sitting outside this church again  

Mentally placing myself back in 96″  

Baring witness to a soul extracting itself from a woman’s body from within  

Leaving me to believe this here is hell on Earth and praying for the after life  

Watching her die day by day  

Dieing everyday until the molecules of her flesh were loose  

enough to where her soul consolidates and slips through the cracks and abrasions of her breast  

Once cushion for her grands and sons to rest our heads  

upon her bosoms and the comfort of her motherly arms and speak of our troubles  

Her wisdom guided us all  

Excused her past because she has been through some rough shit  

So I did not judge her when she picked up the bible read a coupled scripts  

Took a pull and then a couple sips before falling to her knees  

See in the privacy of her own home the Lord came and sat down  

Said “no thanks” placed his arms around her and said “let it out my child  

There she wept and just as if she gave birth to me herself  

I felt her  

I smelled her  

I saw her  

I spoke her tongue  

I heard her like the instruments of my favorite song  

All I was missing was her blood  

See being raised by a man who showed me the ropes  

he and his are all I know  

Its like their blood evaporated and rained into my veins  

She took truth to the grave  

11years old back in 96′ my grandmother died from breast cancer  

Cutting both of her tits  

Watching her die with every hospital visit  

Seeing my mother change her bandages  

Her thoughts delusional, the cancer has reached her brain  

nothing else for it to feast on  

I’m a grown man sleeping with a night light  

Afraid I’ll hear the phone ring once again and on the other end  

a barer of bad news  

Sitting outside this church again  

Memories back from 96′ when my heart grew colder  

Don’t know how big this bottle is inside me  

So I crucified my tears to where my heart and soul met  

Trying to drown two birds with every tear  

Waiting on the day we’re united again where she’ll resurrect me from my insensitivity  

rescue my soul and wipe the tears from my heart  

See you may FEEL I don’t understand your sorrow  

but see I KNOW you don’t understand my pain